I sometimes want to shake myself, screaming, "why aren't you happy?! You have everything, what's wrong with you?!" But still I feel as if something has been taken from me, a kind of thievery of feeling. I remember what it used to feel like , to feel everything and experience what I felt like most people knew as real life, and I know now it's changed, but I don't know who has taken it or where it's gone.
Am I okay?
Such a subtle creeping feeling of loneliness in a room full of friends and loved ones. A kind of hatred of the self that slowly overtakes and envelops, it's the most helpless feeling, but it's comfortable, familiar, I wish it wasn't.
I'd write a little quip like I usually do, but I'm not feeling very poetic.
