"Always there is an odd distance between you and the people you love and the people you meet, a barrier thin as the glass of a mirror, you never come all the way out of the mirror; you stand, for the rest of your life, with one foot in this world and no one in another, where everything is upside down and backward and sad."— Mary Hornbacher
Why do we have to have that distance? Whenever I'm having a good time with other people, especially when I'm laughing, those kinds of thoughts will cross my mind. Those alienating moments when you separate yourself from everyone who wants to be with you and around you.
Why can't I always just be happy? I guess I just like to be sad sometimes. You can't know heaven if you've never met hell, I suppose.
I've always wondered that. When people say that the sad times show us what's good, I always think about asking them why they'd like to go to heaven so badly. If you have eternal happiness, don't you get spoiled and forget how sad things can be? I don't think there's anything wrong in sadness. As long as you feel something, it's okay. When your emotions give up on you, then you know you've got a real problem.
I'm on the cusp of being either very happy or very sad, and I can't tell which. I'm very busy, so I think it's happy. Left alone with not much to do I become sad, but with everyone around, I can't. There's just too much to do right now.
That's the thing, it takes a lot of work to be sad.
